One of the top concerns causing low sex drive is boredom. Getting into the same routines and habits around sex can lead to non-existent sexual desire, lack of motivation for initiation and play, and loss of interest in all-things-sexual.
It’s easy to get used to having sex for sex’s sake but getting excited about sex is good for your mind and body leading to more satisfying sex. The more we have sex, the more excited we get about it! Here are five ways to get more excited about sex:
1. Get naked more. Think beyond the showering, getting dressed, and undressed kind-of-naked. This step should be about getting naked and feeling good about it. It’s our natural state so it can be soothing and relaxing. It promotes self-acceptance and well-being and breaks down feelings of disgust, shame, and embarrassment.
Being naked is a way to improve your relationship with your body – the most important and longest relationship you will ever have. Betty Dodson says, “Give yourself permission to be your authentic self and ditch the clothes!”. Getting naked more should also include touching your own body and initiating touch with your partner. The skin is our biggest organ and has many uncharted territories that can ignite feelings of pleasure and desire.
2. Touch your body – in other words self-stimulate or masturbate! Unfortunately this “dirty” word gets a hard rap but it’s an excellent source of self-regulation, meditation, and body awareness. When you can touch your own body and know how to bring it pleasure you are ready to guide a partner to improved sexual techniques and pleasure.
The other important benefits for sex is that it improves your arousal and desire for more sexual activity. The endorphins and hormones that get released during self-stimulation activate our reward center in the brain that sends a signal for more pleasure and conditions the brain to seek the pleasure again – solo or partnered.
3. Genital show-and-tell. This is exactly what it sounds like. “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” Get creative with this step. Mirrors on the floor, handheld, or mirrors on the ceiling.
Get ready to be curious about your parts and your partner’s parts. The body is a wonderland of skin, textures, temperatures, and colors.
4. Talk dirty. In and outside of the bedroom it’s acceptable and encouraged to talk about sex. If you don’t talk about sex it’s hard to get excited about sex. Tell a dirty joke. Talk about a passionate sexual experience that you had. Share a fantasy about sex. Read erotica out loud or write a few lines of your own. Talking about sex is liberating, free, and makes you feel a little naughty which alway sparks a desire to have some fun.
5. Make a sexual intention. We set intentions or wishes all of the time – New Year’s resolutions, while blowing out birthday candles, and even when an eyelash falls out? Setting intentions about sex can lead to more confidence, attitude, and beliefs about sex.
It only takes one positive sexual experience to make you want to engage in sex again. Use these tips to enhance your sex life and create more opportunities for pleasure and fun!