Debunking Common Sex Myths — How To Talk To Girls Podcast with Tripp Advice
Podcast: How To Talk To Girls with Tripp Kramer | TrippAdvice.com Listen: Full Episode on YouTube | Stitcher
I joined dating coach Tripp Kramer on his How To Talk To Girls podcast to talk about something I cover constantly in my practice but rarely gets addressed in men’s dating advice: sex myths.
Not the fun kind of myths. The kind that creates pressure, disconnect, and disappointing experiences for everyone involved. The kind that makes men feel like they have to perform, and makes women feel like an afterthought.
Tripp’s audience is men who want to show up better in relationships — and that conversation is exactly where I like to be. Because the most common sexual problems I see in my office aren’t physical. They’re rooted in bad information, unrealistic expectations, and the silence that grows when people are too embarrassed to ask real questions.
So we asked them.
What We Covered
Making sex fun again — how open conversation, not technique, is the actual foundation of great sex.
Getting her to try new things — the difference between pressure and invitation, and why one works and the other doesn’t.
What women don’t like that almost all men do — and it’s probably not what you think.
How to be her best lover — not through performance, but through presence.
Sexual dysfunction — what it is, what causes it, and why it’s far more common and far more treatable than most men realize.
The Myths I’m Debunking
The men who come to me for help — and the partners who come with them — are almost always carrying some version of the same myths. Here’s the truth behind the most common ones.
Myth 1: There’s a “right” way to have sex
There isn’t. Full stop.
What works for one person does not work for another. What worked last time may not work this time. Great sex is not a formula — it’s a conversation, ongoing and responsive.
The pressure to hit certain milestones or perform in a specific way is one of the fastest ways to kill intimacy. When you’re focused on executing correctly, you’re not present. And presence is the most attractive thing you can bring into a bedroom.
Myth 2: Orgasm is the goal
When orgasm becomes the finish line, everything before it becomes just steps to get there. That’s not sex — that’s a task.
Women’s bodies take longer to fully awaken than most men expect. Rushing toward a destination means skipping the parts that actually feel good. Slow down. The journey is the point.
Myth 3: Sex is mostly about penetration
It isn’t, and this one costs a lot of men a lot of connections.
Your whole body is a tool for intimacy — hands, mouth, breath, attention. Caressing, kissing, exploring, and staying present in those moments creates arousal that intercourse alone never will. Women consistently tell me they want more of this, and they’re consistently not getting it.
Myth 4: Talking about sex kills the mood
The opposite is true. Not talking about it kills the relationship.
When you can ask what feels good, say what you want to try, and check in without it being a clinical interruption — that’s intimacy. That’s trust. That’s the kind of sexual connection that gets better over time instead of fading.
Most couples never have a direct conversation about sex outside of the bedroom. I encourage you to start having them.
Myth 5: Fantasies are something to hide
Your brain is your most powerful sex organ. Fantasies are not a sign that something is wrong — they’re often a signal of what your nervous system finds exciting and safe to explore.
Sharing a fantasy with a partner requires vulnerability. That vulnerability, when met with curiosity rather than judgment, builds trust in ways nothing else can. It doesn’t mean every fantasy becomes a reality. It means you know each other better.
Myth 6: Masturbation is separate from your sex life
It’s not — it’s foundational to it.
Understanding your own body, your own arousal, what sensations you respond to — that knowledge makes you a better partner. Couples who explore mutual masturbation gain direct insight into how each other likes to be touched. It removes guesswork and replaces it with real information.
Six Things to Do Differently Starting Now
1. Show up relaxed. Entering with a performance goal creates tension. Leave the agenda at the door and focus on connecting.
2. Slow everything down. This is the single most consistent piece of advice I give. Women’s bodies need time. Take it.
3. Expand beyond penetration. Use your whole body. Pay attention to the neck, ears, back, and inner arms — the areas that rarely get touched.
4. Introduce variety. Novelty increases desire. New positions, different settings, unexpected moments of playfulness. Don’t let routine become a rut.
5. Talk about it — before, during, and after. Ask what feels good. Say what you notice. Check in. This is not awkward. It’s connection.
6. Know your own body. The more self-aware you are sexually, the more present and generous you can be with a partner.
Listen to the Full Episode
- YouTube: Watch here
- Stitcher: Listen here
- Tripp Advice: TrippAdvice.com
Work With Me
If something here landed for you — whether you’re navigating sexual anxiety, performance pressure, desire differences, or just want to understand yourself better — I work with individuals and couples in exactly this space.
The conversation you’re afraid to have is usually the one that changes everything.
→ Learn about sex therapy → Learn about my approach → Schedule a consultation
