Dr. Shannon Chavez on Marriage, Relationships, and How to Keep Sex Fresh

Relationship Advice from a Relationship Expert

Dr. Shannon Chavez, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist, shares her insights on the evolving dynamics of marriage, the reasons behind delayed marriage, and strategies for improving communication and intimacy in relationships. In this Q&A, Dr. Chavez answers some of the most common questions about modern relationships and how couples can keep their connection and sex life vibrant and fulfilling.

Why Has the Marriage Rate Dropped to One-Third of What It Was in 1920?

The decline in marriage rates is mainly due to changing societal roles and expectations. In the 1920s, traditional gender roles shaped marriage—women were often expected to marry, raise children, and manage the household. Today, women are more educated and financially independent, and marriage is often delayed to focus on careers or personal growth.

Cultural shifts toward more egalitarian relationships are also impacting how people view marriage. Couples now face different societal pressures, and there is less support for sustaining long-term partnerships, influencing how and when people choose to marry. Additionally, more children are being raised in single-parent homes, altering societal expectations around marriage and romantic relationships.

Why Are Couples Waiting Longer to Get Married?

Couples are delaying marriage for several reasons, prioritizing financial stability. Many young people want to establish their careers, complete their education, and achieve financial security before marriage. This shift reflects the increased importance of personal independence and stability today.

It’s also socially acceptable to date for extended periods and explore different relationships before settling down. The trend of serial dating, emphasizing quantity over quality, can make it harder for individuals to find long-term compatibility, contributing to delayed marriages.

What Is the Number One Issue Couples Face Today?

The number one issue couples face is communication. Many couples struggle with either a lack of or ineffective communication, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and conflict. Common problems include not discussing essential topics like finances, unhappiness, or intimacy while focusing on day-to-day issues.

Couples often don’t have the tools to communicate effectively, and unresolved baggage from past relationships can further complicate matters. Learning and practicing effective communication strategies can significantly improve relationships and positively impact other areas of life.

How Can Couples Improve Communication, Sex, and Connection?

Vulnerability is vital to improving all aspects of a relationship. Each partner needs to explore their sexual evolution continuously. Our bodies, minds, and lifestyles change over time, and couples should stay in tune.

Sex is a meaningful way to maintain intimacy, but it doesn’t have to mean intercourse. Sex can be any act of giving and receiving pleasure together, built on consent, trust, and communication. Couples should focus on small, meaningful gestures like kissing, touching, and making eye contact to keep their connection alive. Less is often more when it comes to staying emotionally and physically connected.

How to Keep Sex Fresh in a Long-Term Relationship

Sex can become routine over time, but keeping it fresh is essential for maintaining a solid connection. Remember that sex is a union of the mind, body, and emotions. Emotional and physical memories tied to pleasure can reignite arousal and desire. Reflecting on positive sexual experiences with your partner can help strengthen your connection and build intimacy.

Here are some simple strategies to keep sex fresh:

• Compliment Your Partner: Expressing attraction and gratitude goes a long way in boosting intimacy. Compliment your partner’s appearance or show appreciation for their affection and touch.
• Share Memories: Reminiscing about enjoyable sexual experiences can rekindle attraction and remind you both of your connection.
• Try New Things: Introduce new elements into your sexual routine. This doesn’t have to involve anything extreme—just small changes to bring creativity and excitement into your intimacy.
• Focus on Body Image: Feeling good about yourself is key to enjoying sex. Work on improving your body image, and encourage your partner to do the same. Confidence in your body enhances the overall sexual experience.

Keeping Relationships and Sex Alive

Maintaining a solid marriage or long-term connection requires effort in today’s fast-paced world. Dr. Shannon Chavez emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, communication, and creativity in keeping relationships fresh and fulfilling. You can create a lasting and passionate bond with your partner by staying in tune with your evolving needs and focusing on your relationship’s emotional and physical aspects.