Spring Into Intimacy: A 5-Step Guide To Recapture The Intimacy In Your Relationship

Spring is a perfect time to dust, polish, and rejuvenate — especially when it comes to re-lighting the spark in a romantic relationship. Does your relationship feel stale or like that feeling of “love” is hibernating, and you’re unsure how to rekindle the romance and intimacy?

Spring into this new season and everything it holds with my 5-step guide to help you recapture love and intimacy in your relationship.

Communication is essential for rekindling joy and love in a relationship. It’s important to continue getting to know your partner, whether you’ve just started dating, are about to get married, or are a veteran couple.

To get the ball rolling, talk openly together about where your relationship is at the moment. Ask your partner questions like:

‘How are you?…’
‘Is everything ok?’
‘Are you happy with how I treat you on a daily basis?’
‘How are we?…’ / ‘Is there anything I can do that would help you feel safer and secure in our relationship?’

Take turns talking, listen to each other, and hear what message is being conveyed. The safer you both feel in the relationship, the more of an honest conversation this will be. Tell each other what it is about each other that you’re grateful for, what you love about each other – and ask for help when you need it.

Spring provides the perfect opportunity for a clean slate and a fresh start. I tell my couples to start by revamping their bedrooms to create an inviting and sensual environment. The bedroom should focus on being comfortable for two things: sex and sleep. Transform your bedroom into a sex and sleep sanctuary that feels cozy and sexy. Updates, revamps, and makeovers will make your space feel more inviting and comfortable, where you want to spend time.

Here are a few more tips to intimately revamp your bedroom:

Get all distractions out of the bedroom. This includes electronics, cell phones, papers, magazines, and anything related to work.
If you enjoy reading before bed, get a comfortable reading chair that sits across from the bed. Try to read less in bed.
Make an intimacy den in your bedroom that includes bedding, pillows, and textures that are sensual.
Colors in the bedroom can impact energy levels and feelings of desire.
Objects can impact our mood and energy. All objects in the bedroom should make you feel good about yourself and your partner. Photos together, sentimental gifts, devices for relaxation, including aromatherapy oil diffusers, baby wipe warmer (for after sex cleanup), plants (good for air quality and ambiance).
Pick out new products for your bedroom together so they can represent partnership and creativity in a shared space.

It’s essential to change things in your tried-and-true routine and shake things up, especially in your relationship. Take up a brand new hobby neither of you has ever tried so that you can both learn and laugh together over the experience. Try a new dance, cooking, or fitness class together, or get outside and plan a hike and picnic, or spend the day lounging at the beach together. Doing something you don’t usually do daily gets you out of your comfort zone, keeps things eventful, and allows you to motivate and encourage one another. Once you establish the habits you and your partner would like to adopt, it’s time to spring into action.

Like the Nike slogan, DO IT. Positive intimate experiences come from actually doing things and making new memories together. Intimacy often gets put on the back burner and requires prioritization. We jump into action with health, family, and work, while intimacy often gets put off and assumed not to need attention. Make a plan and discuss it with your partner. An intimacy plan should include time spent towards growing the relationship and activities that promote connection. Schedule it. Make it a priority and take action steps with effort and dedication. An action-oriented intimacy plan can be the reboot your relationship needs.

Many everyday issues can cause a lack of intimacy, and while a lack of sex doesn’t kill a relationship, a lack of intimacy may. Have a conversation about expectations you may have when it comes to sex, love, and intimacy. Maybe you want more romance, but don’t know how to ask for it, or assume your partner should know what makes you feel desired. Assumptions are just as bad as unrealistic expectations. They lead to disappointment and no solutions. Tell your partner what makes you feel loved and desired. Show your partner what you like. Give feedback when your partner makes you feel special and cared for. Intimacy is about opening yourself up to a partner where you can experience authenticity and connection built on trust, deep caring, and understanding. Love flourishes in this area – for yourself and for others. We build compassion and empathy towards our own needs and those of a partner through intimacy. We are wired for it!

With a little bit of TLC, you can easily liven up your love this season! Above all, remember to have FUN while taking the time to start fresh and experiment with renewed expressions of love.