Romantic Ideas & Gestures to Improve Your Sex Life

By February 14, 2018 For Couples

How is Romance Good for Your Sex Life?

Valentine’s Day is here and I’ve been thinking about the idea of “romance” and how it affects sex.

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, it’s a good reminder that romance does a mind and body good!

Most of us enjoy romantic gestures and intention in a relationship. But do we need it for good sex?

What is romance?

But what is romance, really? Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person. This feeling is associated with but does not necessitate sexual attraction.

In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one’s strong romantic love or one’s deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person intimately or romantically.

Humans have a natural inclination to form bonds with one another through social interactions, be it through verbal communication or nonverbal gestures.

So, what makes for good romance?

I asked around and here’s what I found:

“I think romance is really about how to romance the man to get him to do what you want vs. the classic how to romance the woman.”

“I think romance for men and women is different. Transactional vs. emotional”

“Kissing, snuggling, touching – getting more into the senses”

P.S. Snuggling and sleeping are different activities! You can cuddle, hug, and snuggle but when it’s time to sleep… you need to sleep. Not getting enough sleep impedes romance and desire for connection.

Couples Sex Therapy

Can you have too much romance?

Too much romance can lead to unrealistic expectations in relationships. It can lead to relationship ideals that are built more on fantasy than reality. Romance should not be something the relationship is completely dependent on to function.

Is good sex a result of romance?

Romance is not a prerequisite for positive sexual experiences. Sex can be pleasurable and passionate without intense emotions or attachment.  Sex without romance can be physically stimulating, pleasurable, and euphoric. Sex with romance deepens the experience to include an intense emotional connection. Romance can affect sex by triggering feelings of security, love, and bonding.

What are tips to improve romance in a relationship?

This Valentine’s Day season, take the time to focus on romantic gestures that are:

What’s your favorite romantic gesture?

I took a few minutes to survey some friends and family about their favorite romantic gesture or surprising way to win them over. Here’s what a few had to say:

HE says:


“Back rubs with massage oil”

“Setting up date nights too”

“Random notes left in random places”

“Trying new things or getting back to crazy stuff you did when you first started dating”

“Spontaneous trips”

“Touching not just so you can f#$% but touching so you let your partner know you are interested”


SHE says:

“Spontaneous sex acts that are his favorite (oral)”

“Do smart stuff related to his business needs”

“Basically have sex with him out of nowhere because he didn’t have to do anything to initiate it. “

“Intellectual conversations”

“Surprising me with my favorite food after a long day of work.”

“Telling me I look incredible.”

What do you find romantic?

I want to know what romantic gestures do you like to receive and how do you express your love for your partner? Please share in the comments below and get the conversation going with our hashtag #RomanticSextures!